- Story 3/5
- Ease of access 5/5
- Character 4/5
- Time commitment 4/5
- Trigger/Glimmer 2/5
- Cosines 4/5
- Overall 3.5/5
Anyone coming from my TikTok review will be having the same burning question that is desperately in need of answering; “How did I wind up on Gooner Tok and more importantly, why do the Gooner’s have the cosiest, fluffiest writing I’ve found to date?”
Without trying to evade accusations that this is in fact my genre, especially since recent reviews of Iron Widow and the upcoming review of the Fourth Wing making me look like the biggest closeted literary pervert since James Joyce penned both Ulysses and the Fart letters, The Goblin Girl Maid Service by Scott and Sloss is cosier than the Animal Crossing manga and filthier than a bronies reddit search history. The story starts as many and isekai anime does, one dead protagonist i.e. Kevin. Kevin was an average joe schmuck with an average joe job and an average joe penis; his life was boring, uneventful and not-unique in its mundanity. Then Kevin wakes up and he’s being examined by a medically certified centaur who informs him he’s been reincarnated in Dragonmont city, a fantastical metropolitan world with all the trappings of early 2000’s America, the music of mid 80’s England and the food from a French style pizzeria (derogatory).
What sets off after a small miscommunication and misunderstanding resulting in him running away from his adopted fairy godmother and into the hesitant and slightly uptight arms of Pauline the Goblin French maid. Now if that hasn’t already gripped you and made you want to stick around into the scene wanders Kennedi, a far more open and very willing goblin French maid with bigger tits and singing 80’s rock classics and plays video games in her underwear. All of this rolls into Kevin, wanting to make amends for getting Pauline fired, helps them get back on their feet using his *checks notes* BCSE Business degree grade 3 (for American readers that’s a C Minus) that he’s done nothing with. Kevin knows nothing about the service industry of his new home, the financial regulation and labour laws, marketing tactics that work and don’t work or financial information like how taxes are filed but he’s a tryer, a go getter and yeah if you know isekai tropes you will know exactly what this is.
That’s right, Goblin Girl Maid Service is complete chauvinistic male fantasy harem anime in book form! Not to say that there isn’t something here for female readers it’s just obvious to anyone reading that Scott and Sloss know their audience and it appears to be whatever the protagonist is; men just coasting along, not incels and NiceGuys™ but not really doing a whole lot with their lives except having disposable income and a thing for short green women. Okay to be fair their target market is men who like the fantasy genre, have little disposable income and like to read which sadly means I am in their very wide net of a target audience as I think is my wife for that matter.
It’s lowest hanging fruit, it’s fish in a barrel, it’s “this will hit something and probably a few other things so just throw it in a general direction” form of target audience marketing. It will come as no shock to anyone that Goblin Girl Maid Service is not about to win any writing awards for most philosophical take on the service industry and women in the workplace. Nor is it going to named New York Times book of the year. And depressing as it is to say this deer reader, maybe it should…
The insane thing is as I was reading Goblin Girl Maid Service I became invested in the lives of Kevin, Pauline and Kennedi as well as the myriad of other girls that came in through their door just wanting a chance, a slice of pizza and some basic human D. I wanted to see how they would navigate each new challenge, how their newly forming polycule would develop and who would win at Mario Kart this time. I legitimately found myself skipping or speeding through the adult content to get to the drama, story and cosey atmosphere Scott and Sloss so perfectly conjure, and the McCullough so effortlessly weaves. I was already hooked into the world before the first smut scene could appear and it reminded me why I don’t, as a rule, read smut for pleasure.
My favourite fantasy authors include Terry Pratchett, Brent Weeks, Tom Holt and Trudi Canaven, writers that create incredible worlds for their stories to take place in and always fade to black when something salacious is about to happen or the smut is a major part of the story (Brent Weeks, book 3 of the Night Angel Trilogy, IYKYK). To me these scenes are unnecessary and usually really off-putting to read while I’m trying to relax at best and at worst massively out stay their welcome. I do understand that other people do like these scenes, that they are the culmination of tension and drama in a narrative driven story, but my opinion (and if you don’t want my opinion why are you reading me 1k word review on an erotic romance slice of life smooth brain novel?) is that these scenes aren’t for me.
Goblin Girl Maid Service is just the right level for me, the scenes are flash in the pan if you are interested but if you aren’t they don’t impede on the story. Instead used as stop gaps for the drama, a release valve for both reader and character. I would never suggest that avid and fans of this genre skip those sections but for people that just want a relaxing cosy fantasy read of an evening I don’t think you can go wrong with Goblin Girl Maid Service by Scott and Sloss. It’s relaxing, it’s restful and it doesn’t insist on itself at all, it knows what it is, it’s a one time read to relax before going back to reading about space genocide, end of the world monstrosities or, worse, being reminded about what’s going on in the real world.
Barons Bookshelf 